walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
