hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
dude. I can hear the air.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
