she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
