I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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