That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
