Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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