Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
