Sacagawea was the original milf.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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