don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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