4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
