I got chris browned last night
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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