Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
