Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize