butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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