Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
