i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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