You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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