I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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