Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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