So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
