i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
