So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
