my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
