Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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