i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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