Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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