your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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