Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
