...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
