When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize