Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
