I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
