ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
