No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
