why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
