Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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