He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
