At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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