Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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