they need to just BURY HIM!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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