is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
