I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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