ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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