what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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