She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize