Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
