dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
