His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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