All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
