We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
