Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
