I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i think my tv is drunk
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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