Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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