can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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