did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
