Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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