Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
