I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
