Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
