i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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