I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
